Afraid
by TheShippyQueen
Summary: Everyone is afraid of war. My first attempt at an Anna/Bates fan fic. I might extend it to chapters on Matthew/Mary and Sybil/Branson.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: OK so this is my first attempt at fic writing for Downton Abbey. Please be gentle and I hope you like it. I'm a huge Anna/Bates shipper so felt the urge to produce something. However I may write some more chapters but looking at other pairings. Thank You._

_As with all fan fic, I do not own the characters, this is written purely as fan fiction and respect all rights to the owners of them._

**Afraid**

The garden party had gone downhill after his Lordship's announcement. Nobody really felt like eating pretty sandwiches and drinking fine wine when the word "war" had left such an unpleasant taste in everyone's mouths.

Guests had begun to leave, politely thanking Lord and Lady Grantham for their hospitality but it seemed everyone wanted to return to their own homes and ponder, what will happen next?

O'Brien had managed to encourage her Ladyship back inside and Lord Grantham had followed. He took himself into his library and requested to be left alone, to think no doubt.

The servants had begun the task of clearing away the china and tidying the lawn. They worked in silence, nobody wanted to speak, and nobody had anything to say. They were all lost in their own thoughts, wondering, how would this war affect them?

They went about their work until it was time for their own dinner, the world may have stopped for a brief moment but Mrs Patmore's kitchen does not. Mrs Patmore had made a simple meal and though they all sat down, food seemed to get pushed around rather than consumed.

Anna sat in her usual place, next to Mr Bates. They had not spoken since the garden party and Anna feared he was avoiding her. Despite his reassurance that he was not angered by her visit to his Mother, Anna felt that he had pulled away from her.

She looked around the faces sat at the table. Mr Carson was sitting at the head of the table, his heavy set brows knitted together, he clearly wasn't hungry. Anna noticed he hadn't put his fork to his mouth for a good five minutes and he was obviously deep in thought.

Her eyes moved to O'Brien, even she had been silent, usually she was the first to speak and offer up some catty comment but tonight she sat with the same haunted expression she had worn since the loss of Lady Grantham's baby. Her plate was untouched and she sat, staring into the space between Mrs Hughes and Mr Bates.

Mrs Hughes was deep in thought; her hands held her knife and fork but they were yet to touch the food on the plate. Across the table, William was pale, his eyes were cast down and he carefully pushed a potato back and forth across the plate. Anna knew that he would be thinking about going to fight, everyone was going to be thinking that.

For a brief second her stomach twisted as she realised that the same thoughts would be passing through Bates' mind. She glanced at him but out of all the staff his face displayed the least emotion. He caught her glance but did not respond, instead he put down his knife and fork and said,

"I'm afraid that we are not hungry tonight"

The atmosphere seemed to clear slightly, everyone relieved that finally the deafening silence had been broken.

"No, we don't seem to be in the mood" Carson agreed, "Let's clear this away"

Anna and the other maids quickly began to gather the plates together; glad to have something to do that didn't involve them sitting there in silence. When Anna returned she saw that Bates had left, she hadn't heard the bell ring so he couldn't have gone upstairs. Glancing around she saw the back door slightly ajar and slowly she walked towards it.

She crossed the yard; he was leaning against the old barrel, arms folded in front of him, his stick discarded on the floor. He met her eyes as she approached and though he didn't move his eyes twinkled as they often did when he looked at her.

She didn't speak and neither did he, she sat herself on the accompanying barrel and let her eyes follow his gaze to the opposite outbuilding. They sat there, in silence. So much needed to be said, both wanting to speak their heart but both too afraid. Finally Anna worked up the courage,

"This changes everything….war"

Her voice cut through the night, splintering the silence and sending Bates' thoughts scattering. He found that often happened when she spoke to him.

"Yes, it does" He agreed. He felt her eyes fall upon him and he paused before continuing. "War is a terrible thing and we will all have to play our part"

"We?" Anna's voice was quiet; although it was a question she was terrified of the next response.

"The men at least, every man will want to play their part" Bates replied. He saw her eyes drop to the floor and cursed himself inwardly. He always seemed to be hurting her.

"Even you?" As the words left her mouth, Anna knew how ridiculous she sounded. Of course he'd want to do his bit; he was such a man of dignity and honour. Of course he'd want to help…but how?

"Even me" He replied with a soft smile. "You know me too well to question that."

Anna couldn't help but smile as he looked away, staring back at the door of the outbuilding.

"I'm not sure how but I would like to offer my services, I expect his Lordship will want to do the same" It was a more of a musing than a statement. Despite his injury, Bates was sure there must be something he could do.

"Of course" Anna said, she seemed to rally herself slightly. "We should all do our bit to protect our country. I think it very noble"

The silence resumed, there seemed to be a thousand unspoken thoughts and feelings whirling around in the darkness but for now, silence was the loudest voice. They both lost themselves to private thoughts, Anna wasn't sure how long they sat like that but finally she spoke.

"Mr Bates…..I'm afraid"

Afraid of what? The war? Him leaving? Or the fact that she was so head over heels in love with him that she found it hard to breathe when he looked at her? Anna didn't know and she wasn't sure she wanted the answer. Her words lingered between them. They didn't look at each other but slowly, his hand crept towards hers. His fingers moved over hers until they linked, her smaller hand engulfed by his. His thumb softly caressed the soft skin.

"I know" He said simply, squeezing her hand tenderly.

She lifted her eyes from their entwined hand and met his tender gaze. She felt her heart leap as his dark eyes swallowed her up. Surely no man could look at you in that way and not be in love with you? Anna barely dared to hope.

"I don't want you to go….." Her voice trailed off and she dropped her eyes to the floor. Hot tears began to sting and she willed herself not to break down, not here, not tonight.

Bates moved away from the barrel, his hand still holding hers and stood in front of her. His other hand reached out and softly cupped her chin, tilting it upwards towards his face. Their eyes met and slowly Anna stood up. Bates leaned in towards her and she responded by closing her eyes as his mouth captured her lips and softly, tenderly began to explore them.

Anna had imagined this moment many times but nothing, not even the sweetest dream actually came anywhere near to this. His kiss was so full of love and so deep that Anna felt her legs weaken beneath her. He seemed to realise this and his free hand swept around her waist, pulling her into him. She found her hand sliding up onto his chest, losing herself in the moment.

Slowly and reluctantly the kiss ended, Bates was the first to gently pull back and he gave her that soft smile she adored,

"I know you don't" his voice was hoarse with desire; he gently let his hand fall from her waist and looked at her flushed face. She replied with a gentle smile. He was still holding her hand and carefully he lifted it up to his lips, he closed his eyes as he planted a tender kiss on the soft skin. As he lowered her hand he said quietly, "Things will have to change"

Anna nodded, "I know…that's what scares me."

Gently he placed his free hand on the side of her cheek; "Tonight though, there's nothing to fear and nothing to be afraid of."

Before she could answer the distant sound of a door opening scattered through the night. "MR BATES?" William's voice sliced the moment in half, "Are you out here?"

Bates looked at Anna and gave an apologetic smile as his hand fell away from her face, "YES WILLIAM, WHAT IS IT?"

William appeared around the corner, he took in the scene of Anna and Bates stood very close to each other and went red, "Oh…sorry…erm…I…"

"What is it William?" Bates asked again.

The younger man shifted awkwardly, "His Lordship has just rung for you. I think he's ready to undress."

"Thank you, I'll be in directly" Bates replied. William took the hint and set off as fast as was respectably allowed for a second footman.

Bates looked back at Anna and she smiled, "You'd better go"

"Remember what I said, whatever happens, wherever I may have to go, there is nothing for you to be afraid of." Bates said simply. He leaned forward and gently kissed her cheek, pausing he placed another lingering kiss on her lips, "Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight Mr Bates" Anna replied.

She watched him leave and found herself sitting back down onto the barrel. Her legs still felt weak and her head was spinning. He was right, whatever happened from now on she would still remember that kiss and the way he had held her. Tonight at least, she would go to bed and dream of him kissing her again and again and even if it's only for tonight, Anna would not be afraid.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Matthew and Mary

Matthew had been sitting away from the group when Lord Grantham had made the announcement, but not too far away to not hear the words that signalled the end of life as they all knew it. Already thoughts were running through his mind about how he would play his part in this war. He had to go and fight, of that he was certain. It was the only proper and moral thing to do. As his father had always said, you have to earn your place in this world, and right now Matthew truly believed this was how it should be done.

He had wanted to leave the party and head back to Crawley house so he could be alone with his thoughts and right now he had plenty of those! However fate it seemed always had other plans and instead of safely locked away in his office he found himself stood with Lord Grantham and several other men all discussing what was the happen next.

Matthew wasn't taking much note in the conversation, he made all the right noises of agreement and nodded and sighed in all the right places but if you had asked him what had just been said, Matthew would have failed to answer.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a familiar figure. She was gliding across the lawn like a ghost, clutching her champagne flute in both hands, lost in a deep reverie. Instantly he was drawn to her and without making his apologies to the group he moved towards her, drawn in like a moth to a flame.

"Cousin Matthew." Her voice was curt and her gaze icy as he came to a stop in front of her.

Was it his imagination or had she been crying? He found that hard to believe of her, she always seemed so in control, so….cold.

But then there had been that night, the night he'd saved Sybil, she had kissed him with such passion and he had been so sure she would accept his proposal. How wrong could he be?

"It's a dreadful business, all of this." Matthew could have cursed himself; out of all the things he could have said he says that?

For a moment Mary looked confused before it dawned on her he was meaning the war.

"Oh, yes. A terrible business. Mama is quite beside herself." Mary agreed. She glanced around the garden, people had all begun to disappear either home or into the house.

"It will change the lives of all the men here forever." Matthew said, what he really meant was it would change his life forever.

"No doubt the young men downstairs will sign up to fight." Mary fiddled with her pearls as she thought of the young servants who worked at Downton.

"And upstairs." Matthew added, Mary's head snapped up and she looked at him harshly. When she spoke though, her voice was tinged with panic.

"Whatever do you mean? Papa is too old and you…." He met her eyes and realisation dawned. "You intend to sign up don't you?"

"I have to do my duty." His reply was simple but there were so many hidden messages within those words that even he was surprised.

Mary gave a stunned nod; she seemed to be trying to digest what was happening. "Of course…I understand."

"I have to earn my place here; I want to return to Downton knowing I have truly earned my place here." Words are cheap, Matthew knew that but he was determined to prove himself on the battle field.

"Would you have gone if I had agreed to marry you?"

The words were out there, free in the cooling afternoon, swirling around them both. Matthew felt as though he'd been slapped. He had to think carefully before he answered.

"I…well….I'm not sure….." Matthew was stammering and he hated that. "But you didn't did you?" He finally snapped.

Mary threw her head back in exasperation, "Oh Matthew! I never said I wouldn't marry you!"

"But you never said you would either and your silence was pretty clear to me!" Matthew's retort was perhaps sharper than he'd intended.

"So because of me you are going to take yourself off to God knows where and fight?" Mary looked tormented; she pulled harder on her necklace and paced about on the spot.

Matthew calmed slightly and his voice was tender as he said, "Don't think like that Mary. Whatever your answer, I'm sure I would have still wanted to go and fight."

Mary stopped and faced him, "Don't go."

"What?" Matthew met her gaze, he scanned her face for some sign of mockery but he found nothing but honesty.

"Stay here, with me." She replied simply. "I was a fool and I see that now."

Matthew shook his head, his blonde hair falling slightly out of place. He walked away three steps before stopping; he turned back but checked himself. He took a step away before finally walking briskly back towards her.

"I really do not get you Mary!" He cried in exasperation, "One minute you reject me and push me away, the next you are pleading me to stay! What is it that you want? Why are you so afraid to speak the truth, your _real_ truth?"

Mary shook her head and closed her eyes, he was pushing her to the limit and she hated feeling she was losing control.

"I don't know!" The words escaped in a strangled cry. "I don't know what I want! I want you and I don't! I want this house and I don't! All my life it's always been about "The Great Matter", all my life I've been talked about and planned for without ever asking me if it is what I want. And now….now you come along here with your noble ways and your moral duties to everything and you ask me what do I want? And I don't know! I don't know what I want, I'm afraid of what I want and the worst thing of all is that it scares me that I may have lost you because I can't make up my mind!"

Her words died away like the end of gunfire on a battlefield. Silence descended upon them both as the words sank in.

Matthew sighed and stepped towards her, "You haven't lost me, I will come back."

Mary looked up at him, "How do you know?"

Matthew smiled softly and took her hand, "Because if you are waiting for me, I will do everything in my power to come home to you safely."

Mary smiled and said, "So you really must go?"

"Yes, I owe it to my country." Matthew replied.

"Then I shall remain here and wait for you." Mary's response made Matthew smile.

"Then even in my darkest days, I shall think of you and that will keep me going."

Mary gave one of her coy smiles and said, "I can think of another way for you to remember me…."

She was so close to him now he could smell her perfume and slowly she was leaning in towards him. She didn't really care that it wasn't perhaps ladylike to act in this way but for now all she could think of was kissing him.

Matthew leaned in towards her and softly their lips brushed against each other. His hand moved to the side of her face as the kiss deepened. They remained there, locked in a passionate embrace until the sound of approaching footsteps disturbed them. They pulled back, their eyes still locked onto each other.

"There you are my dear, we were quite worried!" Mrs Crawley announced her arrival. She took one look at them before quickly adding, "I'll be just inside, let me know when you are ready to leave."

"I'm coming now Mother." Matthew replied. Mrs Crawley smiled and retreated to a respectful distance.

Matthew turned back to Mary, "So do you know now what you want?"

Mary smiled softly, "Yes….I simply want you."

Matthew walked away with his heart soaring as high as the clouds. _Bring on the war! Throw everything at me, I will fight it all and I will return! _Matthew walked towards his destiny and he was not afraid.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, you guys are great! I'm glad you are enjoying it, so for all you Sybil/Branson fans, this one's for you!_

_I'm also going to follow this up with another part set at the end of the war._

The atmosphere within the house was so oppressive, Sybil needed to get away. Ever since Papa had announced the dreadful news that the country was at war the whole house had been in uproar. Mary was prowling like a caged lioness, back and forth, back and forth; it made Sybil dizzy just to watch. She knew Mary was worried, despite her bravado and cold exterior, Mary was just as worried as everyone else.

Edith had barely spoken since the party; she sat alone from the rest of the family lost in thought. Sybil feared it was something to do with Sir Anthony leaving so quickly but with Edith you could never be sure.

Granny had been the most amusing diversion of the whole event. She had sat there, sipping her sherry and offering barbed comments whenever the feeling took her. She'd had a verbal spat with Mrs Crawley over what would be expected of all young men in such an occasion as war. This had provoked Mrs Crawley to almost her limits and she had moved away rapidly before she lost control of her tongue.

Mama and Papa had been sat together in contemplative silence, no doubt wondering how this would affect their home and their lives.

Sybil however did not want to sit and think. She wanted to be out there doing something. Anything. Surely sitting around and talking wasn't going to change anything a jot, was it? She realised there was only one person she wanted to see, one person who would hold a sensible conversation with her, one person who would make her feel like…well a human and not just the daughter of an aristocrat.

As soon as it was socially possible, Sybil made her excuses. She spent some time walking through the grounds. Deep down she knew she shouldn't go there, no matter how much she may wish to. He wasn't from her world and she wasn't from his, he'd lived and seen the world and all she had witnessed was the things her parents deemed fit for her to see.

She had lived a privileged and sheltered life, there was no getting away from that but now she was ready to know more of the world. She wanted to see and witness it all and it was possible. He had made her see that. Made her see that there was more to life than just balls and that life didn't end at the gates of the house. There was a world out there, with real people who needed real help. Help she wanted to give.

She had never been like her sisters, always wondering about the next ball and who would be there to ask you to dance. All her life she had been Sybil, the youngest – the baby. Always last to know things and forever hidden by the shadow of Mary. All that had changed when he arrived, suddenly she had someone who believed in her, who shared who views, who understood. Surely it shouldn't matter what class you were from...should it?

Sybil had never been in love before but she could easily believe herself to love him. He made her feel alive...like she was worth something and not just the third daughter of an Earl. Earl. Her father was an Earl and that made her a lady. What did it make him? A chauffeur. No class ranking, no title and no money. It could never be, an Earl's daughter could never marry a chauffeur no matter how old fashioned the idea might be.

Yet...Sybil had never been one to conform to society, she didn't agree with it. If it was love, who could say no?

She realised too late that her wanderings had taken her right up to the chauffeur's lodge. She was about to turn on her heels when she noticed the garage door open and Branson appear. He caught sight of her and smiled, his eyes lighting up as he admired her figure.

"Good day m'lady!" His greeting was warm and immediately she felt at ease in his presence. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

"No..no I was just out walking." Sybil shifted on the spot, "I needed to get out, and the atmosphere in the house is truly unpleasant."

Branson's face darkened as he realised what was darkening the mood within the big house, it was the same thing that was darkening the mood of every home across the land.

"I can well imagine m'lady" He replied. "Is Mr Crawley going to sign up?"

Sybil gave a sigh, "Yes, Mary is beside herself and so is Papa but Matthew is quite determined."

Branson nodded; despite the different backgrounds he could imagine the reasons behind Mr Crawley's decision. They would be same reasons he and every man had – pride.

"At least his Lordship will remain here." The statement was meant to make Sybil happier but instead her face contorted slightly as though she was in pain.

"Papa is talking of offering his services; he wants to take Bates with him. The shock nearly killed poor Granny and as for Mama….." Sybil looked away as tears pricked at her eyelids. "I'm not sure how we will cope, I don't think I could cope if my husband was going to go away and fight."

She looked back at Branson and their eyes met. Branson shifted and looked away, he found he looked at her far too much, it was impertinent of him and he knew it…but he really couldn't help himself.

"I'm sure your Father won't be fighting, he'll probably be training new recruits or maybe he might do battle plans?" Branson tried to think of roles Lord Grantham could play in the war, roles which wouldn't seem dangerous.

"I'm sure we will know more men who will leave to join the war effort." Sybil mused, "This I fear will have a huge impact on the political state of the country. Women must get the vote now!"

Branson couldn't help but chuckle; she had such a way with words and was so determined about the cause that he found her truly bewitching. "I suppose so m'lady"

"How many men downstairs are talking of going?" Sybil looked at him with sincerity and Branson realised with horror she hadn't let it cross her mind that he might go.

"Well…." Branson struggled with the words. "Thomas is going to be a doctor….Bates is obviously going with his Lordship." He paused, "William is talking of signing up…"

"Oh no! Not poor William!" Sybil cried aghast, "He's such a nice boy he wouldn't kill anyone!"

Branson coughed slightly, she wasn't going to make this easy he could tell. "He feels it's his duty….and so do I."

Sybil looked confused, "I don't think you should tell him what his duty is Branson!"

"No m'lady you misunderstand. It's also my duty, I want to go and fight as well." Branson had not felt this awkward since he was caught speeding (a mere 25mph) his last employer's car.

Sybil felt the world stop. She'd heard that expression before somewhere, she couldn't remember where right now but she'd heard it and laughed for how can the world stop? But it could and she was experiencing it right now. Branson leave? Put himself in danger in some dreadful trench in God knows where? Not possible!

"But…." Sybil struggled to form the words. "I thought you would want to remain here, continue with politics, it would be the perfect time!"

Branson shook his head sadly, "Not for a man like me m'lady. I have to go, it is the only right thing to do."

"I don't want you to go!" She cried suddenly. She knew she sounded like a spoilt child but she didn't care, she had to make him see sense! He had to stay; he was her rock and anchor. Without him how would she continue with her canvassing?

"Lady Sybil," Branson stepped forward.

"Oh stop with all the formality!" Sybil cried, "There are more important things in the world than addressing me correctly!"

"Maybe. But you are my employer's daughter, an Earl's daughter and I am a chauffeur from Ireland. We are worlds apart and I have to remember that. I may want to call you many things but I cannot. It wouldn't be proper!"

Branson found himself stood right before Sybil and he could see the hurt in her eyes, he desperately wanted to take her hand, hold her, kiss her even but that could never be.

"The world is changing and I do not see why in this time of progression that two people cannot be close simply because one is born into aristocracy. I didn't ask to be born an Earl's daughter!" Sybil's voice sounded strained as she tried to control her emotions.

This conversation was getting out of hand and Branson knew it. There was such tension between them and had been for a while but it was an impossible situation. He could never have her, she was far too good for him and he would never be worthy enough. However, the tension! It made him want to yell and shout and it made him want her desperately.

"But you _were_ born an Earl's daughter." Branson said simply. "You will marry someone of your own class and you will be happy."

"I don't think I could ever be happy, not without you." Sybil replied. She knew she was overstepping so many boundaries but she didn't care. She didn't care a jot! She took a deep breath before speaking next.

"Do you love me Branson?"

Branson's jaw dropped slightly, Lord had she just asked him that? His mind whirled, what do you reply to that? The truth perhaps? The truth…the truth was he did love her, he'd loved her since their first conversation but he knew it could never be and so he'd contented himself with admiring her from afar but there were so many signs, so many signs that she loved him back.

Many times he had entertained the idea of them being together, of him walking right up to Lord Grantham and telling him they were walking out together and that he could disapprove all he wanted but they were in love and would marry. He even imagined telling old lady Grantham that from now on she could call him "Son" just for the sheer hell of it! But of course this was just a pipe dream, one that could never be.

He suddenly realised he hadn't replied, he opened his mouth to begin when she hit him with the next bombshell.

"Because I love you."

"Sybil….." He began; he couldn't quite believe how this was turning out. He wondered if he was dreaming. "I love you, of course I do!"

Her face lit up with happiness and her hands reached for his but he pulled back from her, her face fell.

"M'lady….this cannot happen." He said simply. "The world is not ready."

Sybil sighed angrily, "Why? Why must we conform to what everyone else wants? Why should it matter if we love each other?"

"It shouldn't but it does." Branson said sadly, "Maybe one day things will change, but not right now."

Sybil sighed unhappily, "So I'm just to carry on as before and marry some bore that my parents choose for me? Do you _really_ want me to be so unhappy?"

"Of course I don't!" Branson cried, "You won't be unhappy, you will marry well and you will be happy because that's the sort of person you are. I will go to war and you will forget all about me."

"Never! I won't ever forget about you! I won't marry either, I refuse to! I am going to prove to everyone, to you, that we can be together and when you get back from war I will be waiting." Sybil said passionately her eyes flashing with determination.

Branson smiled at her and took her hand; he felt that it would be appropriate at this moment. "I don't doubt that you will!" His smile turned to a grin and soon they were laughing together.

He gave her hand a squeeze, "Then that will be something for me to look forward to whilst I am away and if I return to find you married…."

"You won't!"

"_If_ I do then I shall take comfort that you will have married only for a deep love and that you must be happy, for that is all I want for you." Branson's hand tightened on hers. "And I would leave here a happy man."

"I won't" She said firmly, "I will be waiting for you and things will be different. You'll see."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. He prayed and hoped she was right for he knew if he did return to find her married it would kill him. He would never get over it and he would die a lonely and sad man. _Dear Lord, let the world truly change for us_. He hoped his prayer was heard.

"I'm afraid for you." Sybil said softly.

"I'm afraid too." Branson replied honestly. War was a terrible thing and the thought of killing someone brought the contents of his stomach into his mouth.

"I shall write to you, keep reminding you that I love you." Sybil's voice was soft and she smiled as he kissed her hand again.

"Then I have no need to be afraid, I just need to look forward to your next letter. That is what will keep me going!" He was trying to sound confident but it wasn't working.

Sybil was about to speak again when she heard approaching footsteps. Branson dropped her hand as if it was poison.

"There you are! Mama was getting worried!" Edith said coolly. "I thought you must be here"

She fixed a cool stare at Branson before speaking to Sybil again, "Come, you are wanted inside, come Sybil!"

Edith turned and walked away. Sybil looked at Branson and he nodded in silent understanding.

"Don't be afraid." She whispered, "Think only of me."

Branson smiled as she walked away and from that day on whenever he felt afraid he just thought of her and the soft touch of her lovely hand.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Once again thanks for the great reviews. I'm glad you are enjoying! Final three chapters coming up!_

Chapter 4

December 1918

The war was over, it had been for almost four weeks and slowly bit by bit the men were returning home. That is….the men that had survived. Survival stories were few, it was more tales of lost sons and husbands who were never to return, never to smile and never to love again.

Would the world return to what it had been before this war? Anna doubted that thought very much. How do you pick up your life and carry on as if nothing has happened? You can't, not when the eyes betray so much pain, loss and terror.

She'd realised that early on when William had been sent home injured. His eyes betrayed the horrors he had seen and despite his external injuries healing well the mental scars would never fade. He had changed forever, forever injured by a war he was never born to fight.

It was early morning and the whole household was waiting, waiting for their men to return home. They had been lucky, they all knew that, their only casualties had been William and the sad death of the stable boy Ed. It seemed God had smiled upon Downton, in a strange sort of way.

All the servants stood outside in a line on the gravel driveway in their smartest uniforms waiting for his Lordship's car to arrive. The rest of the men would follow after they had walked home from the station. Lady Grantham, The Dowager Countess, Mary, Sybil and Edith also stood on the steps of the house waiting patiently.

Mary was beside herself with agitation, surely they must be here by now? Whatever could be taking so long?

Lady Grantham tried to keep her face impassive but it was plain to all who knew her that the strain of the last years had taken their toll and now all she wanted was her husband home safely.

In the servant's line Anna was getting edgy, she had waited for him to come home for so long now that these last few minutes felt like they were lasting years. The hardest part was knowing that when he did arrive, she had to remain exactly where she was. No running to him, no smiling, nothing. She had to stand there and remain impassive despite inside feeling like she was going to explode.

No, she would have to wait until they could be alone and God knows when that would be!

There was a ripple of excitement as the car pulled into the driveway and slowly made its way towards the house. Anna's heart was pounding into her chest and just feet away so was Mary's.

The car stopped and Lord Grantham leapt out before the hired chauffeur could turn the engine off. He grinned happily at the awaiting crowd before running up to his wife and taking her into his arms. The Dowager Countess made a noise of disapproval and politely averted her eyes.

Mary was down the steps in a flash and practically threw herself into Matthew's arms as he got out of the back of the car. Anna had never felt so jealous in all her life, if only she could do that!

Mr Bates was the last out of the car; he seemed tired and older as he lifted his bag down from the rack. He helped the chauffeur lift off some of the other bags whilst Mr Carson stepped forward to assist.

Finally he turned to face the line of servants; he'd already spotted her in the line as soon as the house had come into view but now he had chance to look at her more closely. She wasn't looking at him, she was staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on a distant point but he could tell she was struggling with it. He knew she wanted to look at him, wanted to meet his gaze but it was not allowed, not in the presence of his Lordship.

She hadn't changed much since he had last seen her, she was still as beautiful as he remembered and he couldn't wait to speak to her, hold her, kiss her.

The family were beginning to go inside and Anna thanked God that her wait was almost over, she could feel his eyes upon her and she desperately wanted to look at him. It was taking every ounce of strength she had to keep herself rooted to the spot and gazing out at the surrounding trees.

Then his Lordship spoke and Anna could have screamed,

"Bates my good man! Come into the library and let us sort everything out and then you can go and get some rest!"

Bates could have groaned aloud but instead he turned dejectedly and began to walk towards the house, it seemed their reunion would have to wait a while longer.

Sybil was the last to go inside, she kept her eyes fixed upon the drive but still there was no sign of him. She sighed as the door closed behind her, she would have to wait a while also.

As the door shut, the servants relaxed,

"Flamin' 'ell! I thought they were never going to go inside, I've stood that stiff I've sprained me self!" O'Brien complained.

They began to walk back to the servant's quarters, Anna trailing behind. Why was life never simple? Was it really too much to ask for a little time alone with the man that you love?

Bates had never felt so fidgety in all his life, he was desperate to get back downstairs but his Lordship seemed determined to keep him away for as long as possible. Finally after what seemed like years, Lady Grantham appeared and scolded her husband.

"My darling, you spend so long away from me and now you chose to spend time in here away from me again! I am starting to get a complex!"

Lord Grantham laughed softly, "You are quite right my dear! I shall come directly. Thank you Bates, I don't know what I would have done without you! You may go now, you must be exhausted!"

"Thank you m'Lord, I am rather tired now." Bates gave a polite nod before retreating as fast as he could out of the library.

The servant's hall was empty and only the distant clank and bang of Mrs Patmore's pans could be heard coming from the kitchen. It seemed all the staff were busy going about their duties, he was hanging up his coat when Daisy rounded the corner.

"Mr Bates!" She cried happily, "It's so nice to see you again!"

Bates smiled, "You too Daisy! Tell me, have you seen Anna?"

Daisy frowned slightly as she thought, "Last I saw of her she was stood out in the yard, not sure why though!"

Bates smiled, of course the yard! "Thank you Daisy!" He set off for the back door, his heart pounding.

Anna didn't know how long she had been stood there; she didn't care how long she had to stand there. She would wait and he would come, she was sure of that. At the sound of the door opening, her stomach gave a little leap and she turned slowly to see him stood there. His face lit up, eyes crinkling at the corners. She felt the smile and happiness spread across her own face. He stepped forward, dropped his cane to the floor and held out his arms to her. And she ran. Ran as if her life depended upon it into his waiting arms.

She buried her face into his chest as his arms wrapped around her; he leaned forward and whispered softly,

"My darling Anna!" He nuzzled the side of her face with his, "How I have missed you!"

"I have missed you too." Anna murmured into his chest, "So very much!"

He couldn't help himself; he began to place gentle kisses on her ear, her cheek, her chin. She responded by lifting her head and meeting his dark eyes. How she had missed those eyes!

"Promise me you won't leave again?" Her voice was gentle but pleading,

He smiled (_how she had missed that smile!_) "I'm not going anywhere, not without you!"

She felt the smile spread across her face and gently he leaned down catching her lips with his. It had been a long time since they had last shared a moment in this way but he remembered every detail of her lips, they had been etched into his memory and now he relished their taste and feel once more. Unconsciously his hands pulled her closer to him as she responded passionately to his deepening kiss, their mouths locked in a dance of simmering passion. Eventually and reluctantly they pulled apart breathless and happy.

"I love you Mr Bates." Anna sighed happily,

He smiled back, "I love you too Anna." His face turned serious for a moment, "I'm a free man now and I'm allowed to say it."

Anna tilted her head slightly in confusion, "I…."

"My wife." He said gently, "She's dead, I only just found out."

The realisation of what his words meant began to dawn upon Anna, "You mean?"

He nodded his smile widening, "Yes, I'm free…free for you."

Anna suddenly realised she should say something about his wife dying, "I'm sorry about Vera."

Bates gave a disgruntled snort, "I'm not! I loved her once but a nastier woman never drew breath! No I saw her for what she was a long time ago but I was stuck, there was nothing I could do. But now….now I can be with the woman who I love and who loves me in return."

Anna smiled happily, "And I do love you, with all my heart!"

Bates smiled back and dipping his head his lips grazed hers, "Good because I never loved anyone as much as I love you." His lips brushed hers again, "My Anna" he murmured before their lips met again in another long and passionate dance.

It didn't matter that the world would never be the same, now Anna had her Mr Bates she was going to be afraid again.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you once again for the wonderful reviews, I am glad you are enjoying! Here's the next part! _

Chapter 5

Matthew had found the journey back to Downton Abbey unbearable, the car seemed to be going so slow that he had wanted to leap out and run all the way. He had sat with his Lordship who also seemed very eager to get home and even poor Bates sitting up front seemed jittery although Matthew couldn't understand why.

He had never felt such sweet relief than that he had felt as he stepped off the platform at Downton. Suddenly the end of the war actually seemed real and for once he dared to hope that he may be able to return to his old life.

As the car came to a stop Lord Grantham was first out and straight into the arms of his wife. Matthew had to smile especially at old lady Grantham's reaction to that, she looked positively repulsed!

Matthew had only just got out of the car when he saw her, she ran down the steps towards him and before he realised it she was flinging herself into his arms. It felt very good to hold her again, to breathe in the scent of her perfume; he wrapped his arms around her tightly as if his life depended upon it.

They pulled back smiling only to notice that Lord and Lady Grantham were smiling happily at them, even old Lady Grantham seemed pleased by their greeting and so they walked back towards the house hand in hand.

Inside, his Lordship made a speech to the rest of the family about how the world was now in a better place and how everyone could now live safe in the knowledge that evil had been defeated.

"However I must now take time to say a few words about you Matthew." His Lordship said turning towards him with a smile, "The bravery you displayed during this conflict was commendable, I am honoured and proud to call you my heir. The dedication you showed towards your men was beyond the call of duty and I am truly proud of you. We all are."

Matthew felt himself blush slightly as the whole family smiled at him. It was true, he had been dedicated and you could say he had been brave especially when he'd saved the life of one of his men and a family of civilians. It hadn't seemed brave or honourable at the time; it had just seemed a necessity.

As the group disbanded and began to talk to each other in smaller groups he found Mary standing at his side,

"Papa said you were very brave. He said you could have been killed in that French town but you were determined to save that family and soldier." Mary said clearly impressed.

Matthew coughed slightly, "Well anyone would have done the same. The boy was only eighteen and the family had young children. I couldn't leave them there to die."

"A true hero!" Mary smiled.

Matthew couldn't help but smile, "Don't mock me!"

Mary smiled coyly, "Who says I am mocking you?" She sipped her wine suggestively, "Every family needs a hero and you can be ours."

Matthew smiled widely, "What even your hero?"

Mary lifted a finely manicured eyebrow, "If you want to be….and I shall be your heroine!"

Cora caught her husband's eye and smiled at him; he raised an eyebrow and smiled back. This was looking promising.

Mary placed her glass down on a nearby table and walked towards the window away from the group and her parent's prying ears. Matthew followed and stood gazing out of the window onto the fine grounds of Downton.

"I've missed this place." He sighed, "Life here always seems so much better; there were times when I thought I'd never see it again. No I truly missed it."

Mary said nothing, she watched him curiously, he seemed older and there were lines around his eyes and frown lines seemed to plague his forehead. Hardly surprising the stress he had been under. But still he was remarkably handsome and Mary wondered why she had ever thought twice of marrying him. He seemed to be reading her thoughts for he turned and said.

"I missed you too. I missed our arguments!"

Mary gave a smile and looked away, her hand playing with her necklace. "I missed you too!"

Matthew looked back out at the grounds; it was hard to believe he was truly home. His mind thought back to their last conversation out in the garden, just before he left for war. The day they had kissed and she had promised him he was all she wanted. He hoped that was still true.

He turned to her seriously and took a deep breath, "Mary if you still feel how you did before I left for war then tell me so now. I need to know….I need to know if you love me or not."

Mary was taken aback by the abruptness of his statement; she glanced back at her family and noticed that nobody was watching. They were all lost in their own conversations or at least pretending to be. She turned back to him,

"Oh Matthew…." She began, "What I said back then, I meant every word and I still do. I was a foolish girl not to accept you straight away, I see that now. But being apart for all this time has only made me love you more. It is still only you that I want."

Matthew felt his heart soar; he had barely dared to hope she would respond in this way.

"That is, as long as you still want me, now you're a big hero….!" Mary smiled jokingly.

He laughed happily, "Of course my feelings have not changed. Mary you have been the only thing, the only light during those dark times that has kept me going. Returning home to you is what kept me alive."

His hand reached for hers and squeezed it firmly, she met his eyes and they shared a moment together, their eyes saying everything else that needed to be said.

"So, we're going to do this? We're going to marry?" Matthew asked, his fingers caressing her soft hand.

Mary leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek, "Yes, it would seem that we are!"

Matthew smiled and glanced across at a watching Lord Grantham who quickly averted his eyes. "Then I had better go and speak with your father!"

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, "I shall return as soon as I can!"

Mary couldn't help but beam happily as he moved away towards Lord Grantham. She caught her mother's look and smiled at her, Cora returned her smile in understanding.

As Matthew left the room with Lord Grantham he was the happiest man alive for now he was safely home with a family who loved him and was about to gain the most wonderful and beautiful wife he could have ever imagined. Matthew was not afraid, he knew he was truly blessed.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sybil had waited so long for him to come home. She had waited every day for him and on the day of his return she had risen early and waited. It was also the day her father and Matthew were coming home so it really was a day to celebrate.

She had written often to Branson and he had always replied although recently his letters had become less frequent and vaguer but she put that down to him being busy and trying to keep safe. It must have been terrible out there! At least though he was coming home and they could start their lives together!

Her father had returned home with Matthew and Mr Bates, the rest of the men were following from the station. Sybil realised she had no reason to be stood outside and so had to follow her family in, she would just have to make an excuse to leave as soon as she could.

Matthew and Mary had taken themselves off to a far corner of the room and Sybil could do nothing but smile. She hoped it all worked out for them, they deserved each other. She sat next to her mother daydreaming about seeing Branson again when her father's voice cut through her reverie.

"Such a nuisance though, we shall have to find a new chauffeur…"

Sybil's head snapped up, "What?"

Her father turned and looked at her with a bemused smile, "We need a new chauffeur. I had a note from Branson, he wants to leave. Damn nuisance really, he was good!"

Sybil stood up, her heart hammering hard against her chest, "What do you mean he's leaving?"

Lord Grantham's bemused expression turned to a frown, why was she so bothered by this news?

"He's going back to Ireland apparently, no doubt for some political reasons!"

"But he can't!" Sybil cried, her face paling at the prospect.

Even her mother seemed bemused now, "Why ever not?"

Sybil realised the group were staring at her, she swallowed hard before saying, "I mean…who will drive us into Ripon?"

Lord Grantham laughed at his daughter, "My dear do not worry, we will find a replacement!"

Sybil forced a smile in return and her father turned his attentions back to her mother. Sybil couldn't bear it, she had to go and find him, and she had to ask him why he was going. Maybe he wanted her to go with him? Her heart lightened at the thought!

"Excuse me." She said eventually, "I've got a headache; I think I should go and lie down."

She made a move towards the door and only stopped as her mother said worriedly, "Would you like me to come with you?"

"No, no Mama! I shall be fine after a lie down."

As soon as she was clear of the room she ran towards the servant's staircase and ran down them. She practically ran straight into Daisy,

"Oh I am sorry!"

"Your Ladyship!" Daisy gasped.

"It's Daisy isn't it?" Sybil asked. The young girl looked terrified.

"Yes your Ladyship!" She stammered.

"Have all the men come home now?" Sybil asked, "Only I'm looking for Mr Branson."

Daisy gawped at Sybil, "Erm…yes they all came home a while ago. Mr Branson's in the chauffeur's cottage, he's gettin' all 'is things together."

"Thank you Daisy!" Sybil smiled kindly and set off for the door, it was only as she reached it that she understood Daisy's words. He was getting his things together…..she turned back to question Daisy further but she had gone.

She ran outside and across the yard towards the cottage. Sure enough he was there and to Sybil's horror he was carrying a bag out of the door. He put it down and smiled at her,

"Your Ladyship." He greeted.

Sybil smiled in return, "Really Branson, I thought we had stopped all of that!"

Branson shifted awkwardly and smiled, "Sorry…Sybil."

"Papa says you are leaving, is this true?" Sybil's heart began to pound again, of course he was, he had his bags packed!

Branson looked at the floor, "Yes it's true. I'm sorry I was going to tell you before I left but time hasn't been on my side."

Sybil was shocked, he was leaving and he was leaving without her!

"What about us?" She finally managed to ask.

Branson sighed; war had changed everything for him. He wasn't the same man that had left Downton all those years ago. He had left her with promises, promises that could never be fulfilled.

"Sybil, there can be no us." He said simply, "You must see that."

Sybil felt tears prick at her eyes, "But…we wrote to each other! I love you Tom! We love each other!"

Branson sighed and stepped forward taking her hands, "Yes, we do. I really do love you but we cannot be together. Those promises we made, they were pipe dreams, they could never come true!"

"The world has changed though Tom!" Sybil said, almost pleaded.

He shook his head sadly, "Not enough though, it's changed in so many ways but still not enough for us to be together. Not in this lifetime."

"Of course we can be together! You hear about it all the time, social class should not matter and it doesn't matter to me, not a jot!" Sybil cried passionately.

"But it matters to your family." Branson said simply. "Sybil, if we were together I would be asking you to give up your family for they would never accept me as your husband. You would be cast out."

Sybil shook her head, "I don't believe that, they would come around to it….eventually."

Branson smiled at her, "You know that's not true! The shock alone would kill your Grandmother and your father would literally kill me."

"Then I shall run away with you!" Sybil cried.

Again Branson shook his head sadly, "No you won't. Your place is here with your family. It's where you belong."

"But I love you!" Sybil wailed, "We belong to each other!"

"I know, but what can we do? We cannot be together; it's as simple as that." Branson said gently.

Sybil dropped her head and let the tears fall, despite everything she had to admit he was right. Her father would never accept it and he would never let her go. But she loved him and he loved her!

"Can't you just stay here?" She asked hopefully, if she couldn't have him at least she could still see him every day!

"No, that would not be right." He answered, "I need to go home, it's for the best."

"This is so unfair!" She moaned,

Branson lifted her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, "But it's for the best, deep down you know that. If I took you away from your family you would only end up resenting me and hating me, I couldn't bear that."

"I wouldn't!" Sybil protested

"You would….." He said sadly, "This way, we leave each other knowing we loved each other."

Sybil closed her eyes, this really was happening. Branson leaned towards her and kissed her cheek,

"Goodbye m'lady."

"Goodbye…Tom."

Branson picked up his bags and set off back down the drive, he knew he was walking away from the first woman he had ever loved but he knew it was for the best. She deserved better than him and he would only hold her back. He didn't look back; it would have torn him apart.

Sybil watched him leave, her heart breaking. She didn't hear Edith approaching her until her sister's arms wrapped tightly around her.

"My poor darling." She soothed.

Sybil cried into her sister's shoulder, she didn't believe she would ever love again. But she would, one day she would but she would always think back to Tom. The lovely Irish man who had stolen her heart when she was just a girl.

At the end of the drive, the young woman waiting under the tree stood up. She had her travelling coat on and a bag in her hand.

"How was it?" She asked.

Tom shook his head, "Awful. It's for the best though."

She nodded and looped her arm through his, she knew he might not love her as deeply as he loved Sybil but she hoped one day he would. She hoped one day she would be the only woman in his affections, until that day came she was content just to be with him, wherever it took her.

Tom smiled down at her; he did love her he truly believed that he did. She wasn't Sybil but she cared for him and they had so much in common, they were from the same class for one thing! She might not be Sybil but he promised he would forget about her, or at least put her out of his mind and concentrate on his new life.

"Come on Gwen," He said with a smile, "A new life awaits!"

_A/N: Pllllleeeeaaaasssse Sybil/Branson fans do not hate me! I know how much you want them to get together but this was my honest thoughts on how it would play out for them. Also, I blame a certain RP game that put this ending into my head! _:D *hides from things that might get thrown*


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